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Scholars in Egyptology have often debated the following question: was the ancient Egyptian society organized along patrilineal or matrilineal lines? In taking a fresh and innovative look at the ancient Egyptian family, Allen attempts to solve this long-standing puzzle. Allen argues that the matrilineal nature of the ancient Egyptian family and social organization provides us with the key to understanding why and how ancient Egyptian women were able to rise to power, study medicine, and enjoy basic freedoms that did not emerge in Western Civilization until the twentieth century. More importantly, by examining the types of families that existed in ancient Egypt along with highlighting the ancient Egyptians' kinship terms, we can place the ancient Egyptian civilization in the cultural context and incubator of Black Africa. This groundbreaking text is a must-read for Historians and those working in African Studies and Egyptology.

• Sales Rank: #5876542 in Books
• Brand: Allen, Troy D.
• Published on: 2008-10-29
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x 6.25" w x .50" l, .70 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 128 pages

About the Author

Troy D. Allen is an Associate Professor in the Department of History at Southern University. There, he teaches courses in African-American History, World Civilizations (Honors), and the History of Ancient Egypt, along with a course on Race Relations. Dr. Allen is the author of many articles, and also serves on the Editorial Board of the Journal of Black Studies. He recently edited a Special Edition of the Journal of Black Studies focused on the issues of Race, Class, and Poverty in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina

Most helpful customer reviews

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Indigenous African studies
By Cush the First
A profound book on ancient indigenous African studies. The author is highly skill on the scholarship of the mis-named people in the region of northeastern Africa known today as Egypt. The book will more then likely upset European American who have been taught to believe that Africa history some how belong to Europeans, but the book is a great way to learn the kinship and social structure of an indigenous African people. Not surprising is the fact that these dark hued people are social structure as the other dark hued people of Africa. Read it for yourself and decide and don't learn to the same old nonsense! Professor Troy D. Allen, you did an amazing job!

9 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Black Men and Red Men?
By JLee
I purchased this book based solely on the title. Please don't be fooled by it. This book is not a scholarly treatise on the "Ancient Egyptian Family." It is a shockingly ignorant anti-Caucasian, anti-Semitic rant, with no academic value.

First of, let me say that racism is wrong, whether it is in the mind of a black person, a white person, a green person, or a purple person (and yes, that is purposely absurd, as is racism, but since his whole book is about color and racism, I'll continue the theme).

The author lets us know where he stands from the start, raging about the "European invasion" and the "enormous assault of Western culture" on Egypt. To him, Black = Good. African = Good. White = Bad. European = Bad. Semitic = Bad. The author is a very angry bigot.

You can usually assume that anyone that narrow minded and hostile has problems with logic and reasoning, and this foolish book backs that up with gusto. He has decided, for whatever reason, that Ancient Egyptian society followed a matrilineal organization simply because it was the "dominant mode of social organization in pre-colonial African societies," and he's not about to let the facts get in the way - in large part because he is unacquainted with the facts.

The author has no understanding of ancient Egyptian history, society, culture, language or grammar. He certainly is unaware that Ancient Egyptian civilization encompassed over 3,000 years of history, during which time there were many social changes. For instance, there are huge differences between the position of women during the Old Kingdom and the New Kingdom.

Black Men?

He freely reinterprets terms to fit his preconceived racist notions. One glaring and egregious example is his translation of the word "kmt," which he describes as Egypt's "authentic name." Well, no. Further, he says, "the name Kemet means literally `the country of the Black men.'" (Wow! Both racist and sexist at the same time!) Again, no, it doesn't. He goes on to mock those who use the actual and accurate translation of "black earth" or "black land" as being "Eurocentric and Semitic-centered." He's so proud of his ignorant prejudice.

Worse yet, he invents words like "kemeters" to refer to the Egyptians in order to disassociate himself with those nasty Semitic and European people. Has he no shame?

Race simply has nothing to do with the study of Ancient Egypt. The concept of races and people being "black" or "white" simply did not exist in ancient Egypt. I'm sure the author is as clueless to that fact as he is of anything else regarding the ancient world.

Purple Men?

The author is also ignorant of the rules of the Egyptian language and its grammar. To translate "kmt" as "country of the Black men" is grammatically and logically impossible. It is similar to my saying, "this is a purple shoe," and you hearing "this is a shoe belonging to purple men." They simply are not the same, and anyone who has actually studied and learned the language knows that.

By the way, the Egyptians would have used a word like "rmtt" - a feminine plural with a male and female determinative - to refer to people in general, so his fantasy of "black men" is doubly offensive.

Of course, the basis for the author's lack of comprehension becomes obvious when he says he used dictionaries to develop his theories of kinship, admitting, "I am fully aware of the inadequacy of material culled from dictionaries, yet in this case this method is inevitable." Huh? Hey, Allen, then maybe you should write about something you know.

Red Men?

Other than his lack of grammatical comprehension, the author also shows no knowledge of Egyptian literature, which clearly distinguishes and contrasts kmt (the habitable area of Egypt where the soil was yearly "blackened" with the nutrient-enriched flood waters) and dshrt (the red land of the desert and hills) - which, by his own "logic," he would have to translate as the "Country of the Red Men"!

But Allen glories in his racist ignorance: "Contrary to most studies of this kind, I have not attempted to camouflage my theoretical assumptions. Rather I have forthrightly stated both my theoretical and philosophical position."

His derision of serious and respected scholars (whose names I will not include here) is shameful. He reminds me of a bully on the school playground ridiculing the smart kids.

I'll let his own words warn you of his total lack of scholarly insight: His "research" consisted of "a general survey and review of the literature produced on the family, marriage, sexual like, women, and kinship of ancient Egypt." That is an exact quote.

I won't waste any more time on his various theories. You simply can't believe a word of this book, so what's the point.

I am shocked that a respected publishing company such as Routledge published this drivel.

4 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Overpriced book, short on content
By D. L. Selden
I agree with the previous reviewer: this is not a scholarly monograph, but the work of an amateur in the field of Egyptology. Few of the rich inscriptional and pictorial materials that survive have been sifted in this study. Its most interesting aspect is its Afrocentric approach, which is fairly well articulated here. It is therefore a shame that the author did not have better command of the classical Egyptian language, literature, and art.

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[J176.Ebook] PDF Ebook Business English: The Writing Skills You Need For Today's Workplace, by Andrea B. Geffner

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This updated edition provides clear, concise instruction on every form of business writing, from traditional business letters, reports, and memos to email and other electronic communications. The author emphasizes that effective business English begins with mastering grammar and sentence structure, and presents a brush-up review of grammar and correct English usage. She also advises on achieving an appropriate business style that conveys the writer’s message succinctly without resorting to stilted, overly formal language or meaningless jargon. This book is perfect for the modern businessman since it’s been updated for today’s web-based world. Includes excellent examples of model business letters, résumés, employment letters, interoffice memos, news releases, and business reports. Additional features include exercises with answers and essential advice for job interviews.

• Sales Rank: #1059216 in Books
• Published on: 2016-09-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 10.80" h x .60" w x 7.80" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 384 pages

From the Inside Flap
Table of Contents:
Table of Model Letters
Preface
PART ONE: GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE
Identifying Verbs and Subjects
Sentence Completers
The Sentence vs. Fragments vs. Run-ons
Subject-Verb Agreement
Verb Forms
Pronouns
Advanced Sentence Structure
Mechanics
PART TWO: CORRESPONDENCE
Business Style
Letter Format
Request Letters
Replies
Credit and Collection Letters
Complaints, Claims, and Adjustments
Sales and Public Relations Letters
Social Business Letters
Employment Correspondence
In-house Correspondence
News Releases
Business Reports and Proposals
PART THREE: SOLUTIONS
How to Handle the Job Interview
Answers To Exercises In “Grammar And Sentence Structure”
Index

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
WAY too many perfect errors
By Brad Johnston
There are 60+ perfect errors in Part One, Grammar & Sentence Structure, plus this whopper-blooper under Tense Use: Past + Past Perfect: 'She went to lunch after she had finished the filing' which is merely wrong, but then comes this by way of explanation: 'the action that occurred first is more in the past', which is pretty much the way of the world. Things that happen first are almost always 'more in the past', but that does NOT help explain how the past perfect works. There are only a dozen such errors in Part Two, Correspondence.

On the good side is that this handbook contains a wealth of good information on the way business works. If Barron's would just stick to business and leave grammar to those who understand it, the world would be a better place. More good news is that you can get some practice in seeing if you can detect the perfect errors. (I tried to find Andrea Geffner to run this past her first but I was unsuccessful.)

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
not a good
By paulraj pappaiah
It has variety of letters. not a good stuff

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
really useful!
By kp
This book really helped me learn the basic grammar of English and I found it really useful in Business world!

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• Sales Rank: #9059338 in Books
• Published on: 1605
• Binding: Paperback

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The Latest Scientific Discoveries Point to an Intentional Creator

Most of us remember the basics from science classes about how Earth came to be the only known planet that sustains complex life. But what most people don't know is that the more thoroughly researchers investigate the history of our planet, the more astonishing the story of our existence becomes. The number and complexity of the astronomical, geological, chemical, and biological features recognized as essential to human existence have expanded explosively within the past decade. An understanding of what is required to make possible a large human population and advanced civilizations has raised profound questions about life, our purpose, and our destiny. Are we really just the result of innumerable coincidences? Or is there a more reasonable explanation?

This fascinating book helps nonscientists understand the countless miracles that undergird the exquisitely fine-tuned planet we call home--as if Someone had us in mind all along.

• Sales Rank: #2346 in Books
• Published on: 2016-09-06
• Released on: 2016-09-06
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.10" h x 1.10" w x 5.90" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 288 pages

From the Inside Flap
Are we really just the result of innumerable coincidences?
Or is there a more reasonable explanation?

Most of us remember the basics from science classes about how Earth came to be the only known planet that sustains complex life. But what most people don't know is that the more thoroughly researchers investigate the history of our planet, the more astonishing the story of our existence becomes.

The number and complexity of the astronomical, geological, chemical, and biological features recognized as essential to human existence have expanded explosively within the past decade. An understanding of what is required to make possible a large human population and advanced civilizations has raised profound questions about life, our purpose, and our destiny.

This fascinating book helps nonscientists understand the countless miracles that undergird the exquisitely fine-tuned planet we call home--as if Someone had us in mind all along.|Hugh Ross (PhD, University of Toronto) is founder and president of Reasons to Believe (www.reasons.org). He is the author of many books, including More Than a Theory and Why the Universe Is the Way It Is. An astronomer and a member of the pastoral staff of a church near Caltech, Ross has addressed students and faculty on over three hundred campuses in the United States and abroad on a wide variety of science-faith topics. From science conferences to churches to government and private research labs, Ross presents powerful evidence for a purpose-filled universe. He lives in the Los Angeles area.

From the Back Cover
"With his typical clarity, insight, and precision, Ross shows how recent scientific findings undermine naturalism while simultaneously providing evidence that there is a plan, purpose, and design in the universe."--Sean McDowell, professor, Biola University; bestselling author of over fifteen books, including A New Kind of Apologist

"In Improbable Planet, Ross holds readers' hands, leading them in a readable yet gently technical format through a compelling layer-upon-layer argument for the distinctiveness of the planet on which we live and of the preparation for inimitable life on Earth. The text is replete with references from primary scientific articles in some of the most well-respected journals, underscoring the highest academic rigor taken in substantiating the factual claims. Only the shamefully flippant could dismiss this book as being a faith-filled presentation rather than the scholarly work it represents."--James M. Tour, T. T. and W. F. Chao Professor of Chemistry, Rice University; R&D magazine's 2013 Scientist of the Year

"Hugh Ross brilliantly silences those who would claim that this Earth, this solar system, this galaxy, and this universe are nothing but a mere accident. Improbable Planet is technical yet poetic; thoroughly scientific yet faith-inspiring. I commend it to anyone who seriously contemplates the wonder of this planet we call Earth."--Pat Robertson, founder/chairman, The Christian Broadcasting Network, Inc.

"Hugh Ross takes us on a riveting tour of the scientific story, from the beginning of the cosmos to present humankind. He shows how that story pushes us toward the conclusion that purpose has driven the whole story, with the different pieces intertwined and each supporting the production of an ideal habitat for human beings right here and right now. Not only will this commend Christian faith to scientifically minded inquirers, but it will also strengthen the confidence of believers that we inhabit and participate in a meaningful and purposeful story."--C. John "Jack" Collins, professor of Old Testament, Covenant Theological Seminary

"With thorough notations and research, Hugh Ross takes us on a journey through time and space to bring us firmly back to our own planet, formed by one Creator. For those who need a scientific explanation of our universe and the life-forms within it, you will be satisfied. For those who already believe that God's divine hand created the world and all life within, you will be validated. Hugh Ross writes to stretch our intellect and to strengthen our faith. Improbable Planet does the improbable--demonstrates that the language of science does not threaten but instead augments the prose of evangelism."--Ed Young, senior pastor, Second Baptist Church, Houston, TX

About the Author
Hugh Ross (PhD, University of Toronto) is founder and president of Reasons To Believe (www.reasons.org). He is the author of many books, including More Than a Theory and Why the Universe Is the Way It Is. An astronomer, Ross has addressed students and faculty on over 300 campuses in the United States and abroad on a wide variety of science-faith topics. From science conferences to churches to government labs, Ross presents powerful evidence for a purpose-filled universe. He lives in the Los Angeles area.

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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Treasure Trove of Information
By Philip DiMarco Jr
Hugh Ross's voice is mostly in the background as he has done a lot of in-depth research for this book and simply presents his findings for the near entirety of the work. I appreciate this as it is clear how he interprets his findings (he does go on at the end of the work to briefly present his view) so even if you sharply disagree with him, you would have to be blindly obstinate to not appreciate the value of his research findings here.

The price of this book is a steal and despite its somewhat short length, it is full of meat and no filler. I simply have not encountered another work which has so much detailed information on its topic, in such a short span of pages. It is not the 'easiest' read, but certainly one of great value.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
He is incapable of writing a bad book!
By Donttreadonme
I have read more books from Dr. Ross than I can count. He has helped me gain a deeper understanding and admiration for the complexity of God's creations and the uniqueness of this vast planet we live on. After reading any of his books, I believe it is literally impossible for someone to walk away and not believe in God. He makes the case so compelling that even an ardent atheist should walk away believing in at least a "designer". His books are very easy to read and fascinating with the amounts of detail and mathematical statistics.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
This is Hugh Ross's best written, most impressive book written for a popular audience.
By Sarah Sumner
This book should be carefully studied by atheists, skeptics, and people of faith alike. It is a book for thinkers who want knowledge and understanding. Rice University Professor James Tour (who is T.T. and W.F. Chao Professor of Chemistry) says of this book: "Only the shamefully flippant could dismiss this book as being a faith-filled presentation rather than the scholarly work it represents." In my own professorial opinion, this is Hugh Ross's best written, most impressive book written for a popular audience. It is loaded with almost 40 pages of citations that are nicely placed at the end of the book (to ease readers) and delineated in a sequential, logical way that shows, with each chapter building on the chapter before, how Earth's development happened.

The relevance of this book is that it offers clear answers to felt macro-questions
that people often ask in moments of curiosity and agitation.

* How much longer can Earth continue to support over 7 billion people effectively?
* Why are there so many species of life on earth?
* How did nature generate the leap from non-life to life?
* How did Earth go from being formless and void, to being covered by water, to being able sustain over 8 billion different forms of life?
* How did Earth become able to support physical life forms, mindful forms of thinking/feeling animals, and also spiritual/mindful/physical people?
* Why does human life need such a massive universe in which 50 billion trillion stars comprise only 1% of its total mass?
* What does Earth's history reveal about the value of human life, including my life?
* If human life is so valuable, then why are billions of people living in miserable conditions?
* What do the ongoing massive changes in Earth's conditions suggest about the future of Earth and the future of humanity?

Using the scholarly research of world-renowned scientists and refereed academic journals,
Hugh Ross presents an elaborate set of scientific facts garnered from several different scientific disciplines (astrophysics,
biophysics, chemistry, geology, biology, etc.). His main contribution is to synthesize those facts, authenticate them with Scripture,
and then show the general public (along with academic elites) what scientific truth reveals.

Here are some key lines from the book (in quotes) which may or may not be followed by explanatory comments from me:

* "Earth is much more than a planet with primitive life residing upon it. It is a planet with a very long history of life, a history that led to the
appearance of human beings. We are not constrained to a low population in a few restricted areas. Humans currently occupy all of Earth's
landmasses. We have multiplied to a population exceeding 7 billion individuals, and have achieved a high-level technology that continues
to advance on a global scale. All these features would of current human existence and civilization would be impossible unless life originated
on Earth as early as physically possible." (p. 93)

* "The anthropic principle has become the prebiotic principle" (p.21). In other words, whereas naturalistic scientists have long claimed
that the humanity's existence places severe constraints on the Milky Way Galaxy, the solar system, and Earth, scientist
Marcelo Gleiser (Brazilian Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Dartmouth College) has said that what was formally seen as
constraints is now understand to be nothing more than "the preconditions for primitive life."

* "What would be easier to take for granted than dirt? However basic is may seem, the ubiquity of dirt represents no small coincidence.
The complex story traces back to . . . "

I will end by saying this: Hugh Ross makes the history of dirt fascinating reading just as he does the history mountains and oceans, the moon, and more. That's why I have long stated that Hugh Ross, Ph.D. is my favorite worship leader. All these many facts declare the glory of God, a God so patient and magnificently wise.

I highly recommend this book and hope it is used as required reading in classrooms all over the world.
We are certainly going to use it in Right On Mission Theological Academy. See rightonmission.org.

No one asked me to write this book review; I did so freely of my own volition.

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Kinfolk Issue Eighteen: For our winter edition, we explore the relationship between community and design. How

can design strengthen bonds with our families, friends and neighbors? And how can good design improve our

quality of life? Design is a type of communication. It’s about the way an object or idea speaks to its audience. But

good design not only gets its message across—it also engages us in a conversation. The voices in this issue’s pages

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• Sales Rank: #144791 in Books
• Published on: 2015-11-24
• Released on: 2015-11-24
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 11.00" h x .60" w x 8.50" l, 1.38 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 160 pages

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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Two Stars
By Powdah
Kinfolk has lost the magic. Ads, weird essays, less substance. The aesthetic is completely mainstream now.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Happy customer in Oregon
By neskowink
Item just as billed, arrived quickly, shipped safely. Happy customer in Oregon!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Ann Arborite
The photography is always a pleasure to admire.

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• Sales Rank: #6499714 in Books
• Published on: 1992
• Binding: Paperback

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In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior - from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.

Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse - and the abuser.

This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

• Sales Rank: #8462 in Books
• Published on: 2010-01-18
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.00" h x .64" w x 5.00" l, .59 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 240 pages

Review
"The book that helped change Brandy's life." Oprah.com "A groundbreaking book..." --Newsweek "A great, great book." --Sonya Friedman, CNN"

About the Author

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker, and consultant, Evans has appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio, and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine. Evans lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.

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355 of 367 people found the following review helpful.
Awakened to Abuse After Decades
By carola
Several weeks before leaving my abusive husband after 42 years of marriage, I read "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. I noted many passages that clearly described the abusive tactics he was using on me.

The information, however, was just so irrefutable, so undeniably true, it was far too painful for me to fully realize and assimilate at the time.

Sixteen months after leaving him, I picked the book off the closet shelf and re-read it, this time noticing many more abusive characteristics of his and experiences I went through in the past. Numerous passages were boldly marked this time, and many more notes were made. Virtually every page held so many similarities to what I had been experiencing in this abusive relationship.

After decades of being unaware of this type of abuse, I finally arrived at the realization that he was indeed extremely verbally abusive during our marriage. This was a tremendous revelation to me, as I had unconsciously hidden and "forgotten" even the physical assault that occurred early in the marriage. Before we married, however, he was attentive and I thought he loved me as I loved him.

I thought that verbal abuse was mainly name calling and hurling outright insults. My to be ex husband did not often call me names and obvious insults were rather rare, although he did call me stupid and crazy a few times. Yes, he did beat me severely early in our marriage, but he was mainly a covert abuser. His methods were insidious and had me feel that I was to blame for just about everything that went wrong.

He would often criticize men and women on TV, their physical faults, mouth too large, crooked nose, too fat, too thin, etc. He was particularly critical of confident women broadcasters, and would be very insulting of them. I finally stood up to him and let him know that he was being very cruel. In hindsight I realize I felt more protective of other people than myself.

One of the most painful and damaging aspects of his abusive ways was his obvious delight in seeing my hurt responses to his insidiously cruel remarks... the smirk, the laugh, the hate-filled look. As time went on, I learned to hide my feelings and to refrain from reasoning or arguing with him. I could never "win" anyway. It hurts to realize that the one who promised to love and cherish you didn't really care for you.

He seemed to get a lot of pleasure in seeing me suffer physically as well. It was a freezing cold day and I went out to the garage to bring in an item from the car. I somehow locked myself out of the house. I was dressed only in my indoor clothing, and frantically knocked on the doors and windows for him to let me inside. I was becoming very cold, and being in my 60's, was concerned that I would quickly become hypothermic. He did not answer my cries. I went in side the car, but it wasn't any warmer, as I didn't have the keys to start it. I was too embarrassed to ask for help from a neighbour. Finally after about 30 minutes or so and repeated knocks and cries he answered the door. He said he didn't hear me earlier. He appeared very unconcerned about me and the whole incident. I just let it go as I knew better than to argue with him...he would just yell irrational insults at me. I just couldn't handle his insults any longer.

Shortly afterwards, when our son and his wife and children were visiting, he recounted his story, about my locking myself out of the house. He made me sound stupid. I was hurt, and quietly remarked that I became very cold and wondered when he would answer the door.

Before we married, I happily looked forward to being his wife. I was a loving and attentive wife to him, and was faithful to him throughout our marriage, working very hard in raising our children, cooking good nutritious meals and maintaining the home and businesses we owned. He basically ignored our children, even though I tried to speak with him, telling him that they would be harmed by his emotional distance. He did not care to listen and brushed me off.

Almost all of my efforts seemed to be wasted on him. This happens very often in abusive relationships...the abuser is never really satisfied. He would criticize and downgrade me often, and I began to feel worthless. I had no self-esteem as a result.

Like so many abusers, he was very polite and good-mannered to others. Family, business associates, friends at church... they were completely oblivious to his abusive ways. He had developed a charming persona that he could control at will, that he could switch on and off like a light bulb, and he especially liked to play up this persona in church. He had a dark and angry side that he did not display to others.

For brief periods over that long marriage I went to several counsellors for "depression" but I didn't mention my husband's abuse, so the counsellors were not able to help me. This shows how blinded I was to his abuse. I descended ever more deeply into the abyss of despair and self-blame. Several years ago, I finally mentioned his physical abuse to a new counsellor. At the time I had not yet acknowledged his verbal and emotional abuse. The counsellor suggested I close my eyes and pretend I was on a beach somewhere with my abusive husband. I didn't retain that counsellor for long, either.

The author mentions the description of the Covert Abuser as "also being angry and hostile. However, they don't express anger in the pattern of the anger addict... they may be more inclined to develop long-range plans to control and manipulate their partners." How terribly true this was in my case.

The author also describes Denial as being "one of the most insidious categories of verbal abuse because it denies the reality of the partner." Again, completely true in my experience and I could not agree more.

In the months leading to the separation, he would become angry and ask why I married him. I would reply because I loved him very much. He would sneer and make a denigrating sound. This, I felt, was his covert way of turning around the usual "Why did I marry you" remark. I didn't ask him the same question. I was afraid of his response.

Another illustration of his type of abuse: Several years ago, he and I were having lunch at a restaurant. There was no argument involved, either beforehand or at the time (as if that should matter). I started choking on food stuck in my throat. He was sitting next to me, and made absolutely no effort to help me. He simply sat there while I was desperately trying to cough up the food, feeling I would die. Finally I managed to do so with no help from him.

After arriving home, I calmly asked him why he didn't help me. He muttered something like "I dunno," and appeared completely unconcerned about this incident. I felt he hated me so much that he wished I would die.

In the months before leaving, I had tried to talk with him, asking him to offer a heartfelt apology and seek help. He would become very angry and would refuse, blaming me instead.

"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" helped me to become aware of verbal abuse and the damage that it causes in terms of destroying self-esteem, spiritual, emotional and physical health. The perpetrator of abuse ravages the soul, crushes the spirit and can ultimately murder the partner that is held in the abuser's grip. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is going through abuse and as a warning to others.

This book will provide valuable and enlightening information to anyone who wants to become more informed about the tactics of the abuser.

180 of 190 people found the following review helpful.
I'm a Man and This Book Saved My Spirit Too
By IT Specialist
I am a man who didn't find the information in this book biased towards woman in the slightest. By the end of the first chapter I was swapping the gender of the pronouns without conscious thought. This book is about recognizing and responding to abuse. Regardless of gender, people in abusive relationships have been systematically trained not to trust their own inner voice. Criticizing this book seems to risk further befuddled those that need it most. I think the lack of sensitivity to this possibility on behalf of the critical reviewers suggests that either they don't fully understand the dynamics of abuse, or else they DO understand the dynamics and want the potential purchasers of this book to keep doubting their inner voices.

To address the issue of gender it might be useful to add a chapter of research on how verbally abusive women differ from their male counterparts, as well as how male victims differ from female victims. As a man trapped in an abusive relationship for 20 years I can make an educated guess that there are some significant differences. For instance since men are often not as in touch with their own emotions as women are, and because the stereotypical male prototype is John Wayne, I would guess that many men silently suffer abuse right to their grave. It would be a worthwhile chapter if it helps just one male victim to begin trusting his inner voice.

156 of 165 people found the following review helpful.
Read it.
By Hmmmmmm
If you are even looking at this review, that means you or someone you know has made you think about verbal abuse enough to come and check out this book. If you have had to think about it even that much, then THIS BOOK WILL BE OF UNBELIEVABLE VALUE TO YOU!!!!

Get it today. Read it the minute it arrives on your porch.

(If there is concern that the book did not get 5 starts, be sure to look at the one star revies--almost all by the same reviewer.)

If you think you just have a grumpy spouse, or if you know they guy is way out of line: GET THIS BOOK. If you feel alone even when he is around, or if you can't get him off your back: GET THIS BOOK.

Verbal and emotional abuse can be so subtle, so subtle that you don't even realize it is abuse. The effects confuse you about your own experiences, and make you doubt your own judgement, to the point where you know you are unhappy, but you feel like it is your own fault. So you may not think this book is for you.

Do yourself a favor...if there is even a whisper of curiosity in you about the subject, you or someone you care about will benefit from your access to this knowledge.

This book defines very specifically and clearly what constitutes abuse, emotional evidence that you are being abused, ways to respond to make the abuse stop, and a clear picture of the mentality of the abuser. Trust me, they are not seeing it the way you are. We all make the mistake of thinking that our spouse's understanding of love is the same as our own, which is why we just don't understand WHY they do what they do to us.

Be prepared to see everything in a whole new light. (For some of us, the first light we have seen in a long, long time.)

This book gives you hope. It unlocks the cage you subconsciously submitted to a long time ago, and gives you a chance at freedom you didn't even realize you were missing.

It has been said before. Waaaaay too often. But in this case, it is so very, very, VERY true.

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO READ THIS BOOK!

For me personally, this book allowed me to stand up straight, walk tall, and have dignity again. It gave me insight into what led to my husband's ability to treat me this way. That insight opened the door to a whole new understanding of him as a person--the parts of him that are broken and why. In our particular case, after reading Ms. Evan's other books, I had the tools to wake him up to what he was doing--to see his behavior for what it was. For the first time EVER, he could see that something in him is missing (from past abuse), something valuable that can be reclaimed, and he could not deny its reality. What he does with that reality is up to him. But I know that I have done what I can, and now that HE sees, I know that his further actions are my answer to whether or not he is willing and able to change.

Not only do I have my own self back, but no matter how it works out for our marriage, he has been given the chance to repair that empty part of him and to find real happiness. This book has given both of us a chance to find peace, whether or not we end up together in the end.

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